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Sue Reed's avatar

Brave, important and honest writing, Kathryn, I applaud you. My heart skipped a beat when you got to the evangelical church and the devil's music. I'm on the waiting list for CPTSD therapy & EDMR and my trauma harks back to my teenage years and having the devil prayed out of me as I knelt in church with the pastor and elders laying hands on me after being sexually abused by those very men.

It takes a huge amount of bravery to share our stories and I'm so glad to have stumbled across you here.

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Wendy Pratt's avatar

I'm glad you did publish this xx

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Kathryn Anna Marshall's avatar

Thank you - it was a leap of faith but so important for people to understand. Including me.

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Esther Stanway-Williams's avatar

Thank you for publishing this. It’s an act of courage to lay ourselves so bare. It will definitely help others who read your story. I (now) suspect my son, who took his life, had bipolar 2. I have learned to steer my thoughts away from

blaming myself for not realising this, and posts like this really help me continue to do this x

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Kathryn Anna Marshall's avatar

I'm so sorry to hear that Esther. My brother took his own life ten years ago and the sense of “I could have done more” is so hard to shake. Thank you for telling me that my writing has helped - it's always scary to be honest, but so important I think. Take good care xx

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Esther Stanway-Williams's avatar

Thank you Kathryn, you obviously understand the complexity of this kind of loss. I’m sorry you lost your brother too. We honour them best by being open and honest don’t we.

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Sue Reed's avatar

Brave, important and honest writing, Kathryn, I applaud you. My heart skipped a beat when you got to the evangelical church and the devil's music. I'm on the waiting list for CPTSD therapy & EDMR and my trauma harks back to my teenage years and having the devil prayed out of me as I knelt in church with the pastor and elders laying hands on me after being sexually abused by those very men.

It takes a huge amount of bravery to share our stories and I'm so glad to have stumbled across you here.

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Kathryn Anna Marshall's avatar

Thank you Sue. I remember the praying out of devils and demons so clearly - awful, toxic scenarios. I'm only just begining to explore it in my writing. I'm so sorry they did that to you - the ultimate blame shifting. Well done for surviving xx

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Sue Reed's avatar

Yes, like you, am also exploring now in my writing. It's amazing what's coming up. It took me half a century to be brave enough to go there. I was always threatened with not only eternal damnation but destroying my mother's life and ultimately being responsible for her ill health if I dared rebel.

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Kathryn Anna Marshall's avatar

And I hope the EMDR is useful. I found it hard to go through but it was ultimately beneficial.

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Elaine Lawson's avatar

Thank you for posting, that was brave, and so informative. I hope you continue to feel better.

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Kathryn Anna Marshall's avatar

Thank you Elaine xx

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Jaimie Pattison's avatar

Thank you for writing and sharing such a profound and personal piece. I can imagine it was at times difficult even frightening to do, maybe especially to hit post, yet unless we all feel safe to talk openly, the individual burden grows and adds to the daily strain. My aunt lived with bi-polar that was triggered by the death of her brother, my father. Within the family it was known but not talked about, but now when there are so many false narratives about what many live with, at a time when we have the medical knowledge to be very clear and accurate, those who generously share their lived experience as you’ve done, touch so many, and I hope too that the burden of carrying on in silence is easing day by day for you 🙏💕

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Kathryn Anna Marshall's avatar

Thank you so much. The strain of silence is almost as hard as the illness I think. I'm so grateful to have had people in my life who care even though they may not understand.

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Rita Ott Ramstad's avatar

I'm also glad you published this. It is so clear and true. Has developed my understanding of several things. Thank you.

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Kathryn Anna Marshall's avatar

Thank you Rita. I'm glad it's been useful too. Before my diagnosis I had very little understanding of the range of symptoms. It's a shame we don't speak about the specifics of mental illness more I think; everything is just placed under the rather vague umbrella of "mental health"

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Emma Kitchen's avatar

Beautiful, well done ❤️🌸

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Kathryn Anna Marshall's avatar

Thank you so much Emma - I was quite scared to publish it but I’m glad I did. It’s heartening to see how kind people are.

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Jean Atkin's avatar

A brave piece. Hoping you can continue to feel better and stronger, Kathryn. x

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Kathryn Anna Marshall's avatar

Thank you - I am definitely in a much better place than I have been x

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Tamsin's avatar

Thank you for being brave and publishing this.

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Kathryn Anna Marshall's avatar

Thank you xx

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