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May 23Liked by Kathryn Anna Marshall

Congratulations! That is massive news, well done! My first (well, not really the first first….) novel didn’t find a publisher and while that’s still sad, I’ve realised that the going ‘far’ won’t change my life or validate the writing completely or fill me with confidence in itself. I am working towards the work being the thing, the joy of that, of doing it, of what my life can be that IS in my control. You are so right we need to celebrate the wins - even if we think they’re small - and I think this one is huge, actually!

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Thank you - it's a long process of becoming happy with who we are isn't it? I think writing amplifies it - the feeling of placing our thoughts out for scrutiny is agony! It's all so public now too - I wonder if I'd be a better/happier writer if I stepped away from the public arena but I'm not sure that would be possible now I know it's there!

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Congratulations! Being long-listed for a prize is huge. I so relate to this; I’ve dismissed things because they aren’t “it.” Instead of seeing them as steps on the way.

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Thank you LeeAnn - I do need to retrain my response!

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May 21Liked by Kathryn Anna Marshall

"Where do I see myself in another five years? As a better writer I hope, and still as in love with the craft and process." This, I think, is the most important part, and the only true way to peace as a writer. For whatever it's worth, 12 years ago I stepped away from writing poetry because I could not sustain belief that my poetry mattered or would matter in the ways you're writing about. (I also could not make it work with the rest of my life, but that's not as relevant here.) This week, I've been working deeply on a poem for maybe the first time since then. I'm feeling a rekindling of a love with craft and process I thought was long gone. I'm wondering if the only way to have any kind of longevity as a writer of poems (of anything literary?) is to let go of external outcomes. And also: Congratulations on the longlisting! I do understand your feelings about it, but it *is* something. Just completing a book-length manuscript is something! (More than I've done in 2 decades!) I don't mean to simplify; there aren't easy answers to the questions you're asking. External validation (or lack of) is useful information, and it feels good, and what are we writing for if not to connect with readers?, and feedback pushes us to push our craft. The trick, I think, is to take all of these good things from responses to what we send out into the world and leave the parts that aren't serving us and our work. Easier said than done!

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You've hit the nail on the head Rita - it's all a process and it ebbs and flows like anything else. The idea of letting go of external outcomes is interesting - it's so hard with social media though. People's successes and failures are so prevalent they almost seem to matter more than the words that are written. Interesting to think about.

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Yet another reason I don't spend much time on social media. :-) I do spend a little bit of time on Notes here, but it can sometimes make me feel a little icky. I think the only way I could manage to let go of outcomes when I was younger was to completely stop trying. (Not a great solution, but it worked for me.) I think being able to peacefully let go of them now, while engaging once again, is a gift of age. My perspective is just different now. Many things that once mattered no longer do. I wish you good fortune and peace on your journey with it all!

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